How to Ease Family Stress Around the Holidays
As Christmas and New Year's edge ever closer, you may feel the holiday stress mounting. Family, especially, can prove challenging at this time of year. Here are a few reasons our family festivities can turn from fun to fretful and how to keep stressful feelings at bay.
Stop Scolding, Remember the "Why"
With kids especially, misbehavior can often be attributed to overdoing it. Later bedtimes, delaying meals and too many treats affect kids' ability to stay calm, focus, and remember the rules.
If you feel ready to shout or scold, first consider the situation. Did the kids go to bed too late last night to watch both Home Alone in a row? Has there been too much chocolate and not enough spinach lately? It's important to set children straight when it comes to behavior, but at same time, recognize the source of the problem. This way, you'll be less likely to lose your own temper, and more likely to know when it's time to get family life on an even keel again.
Grownups, Too, Can Behave Badly as a Result of Overdoing It
Too many toddies can turn into a tiff, and the booze does tend to flow at this time of year. It goes without saying that there should be an appointed designated driver or call to Uber if you're going to be enjoying a few cocktails while out and about this holiday season.
But even if you're not driving, going from buzzed to blitzed can spell trouble. And if you're one for whom drinking is a slippery slope, remember that family members, especially kids, don't deserve the trouble this causes. Drink lots of water, have a few snacks, and ease off the bottle if you feel yourself becoming sloppy, argumentative or emotional. Your kids and your spouse will thank you!
Go With the Festive Flow
With so many things to do and groups of people to celebrate with, the holiday season can throw off the family rhythm. Maybe homework isn't getting started until bedtime hours… maybe meltdowns are spoiling the holiday fun.
What is everyone in the mood for? If cookie baking party with cousins isn't progressing as planned, how about dialing things down to Christmas movies, popcorn and hot cocoa instead.
Sometimes the best memories are made when we stop trying so hard and just go with the flow.
Instead of Blaming, Give Benefit of the Doubt
The holidays are such a chaotic time of year. But just because things are crazy doesn't mean we can't embrace the chaos, and recognize the good in each other. Suppose your hubby is getting grumpy because the dining room table is covered in craft supplies. Instead of getting in an argument about it or pointing blame, perhaps both of you can stop and see the good. Hubby can acknowledge the "happy chaos" of Christmas art projects done by his family. And you can take a moment to clear a space for him to relax at the end of a long day.
If You're Maxed Out, Just Say No
Sure, it's tempting to just keep on rolling with the holiday plans, parties, gift-giving, baking and fun. But there comes a point where we are so far off from the normal routine that the holiday happiness we're trying to conjure up starts to just backfire on us. Remember that it's okay to politely say no thanks if you're not feeling up to partying. Remember that store-bought can be a lifesaver when homemade is putting you on total overwhelm. Remember that this time of year is about slowing down and enjoying, not rushing and forcing good times.
Tomorrow is another day, so take a rest when you need it and you'll be refreshed for the next fun thing. That's a great way to reduce family stress for the holidays, and keep the smiles coming!