Manage Holiday Stress: Set Boundaries With Friends And Family

The holidays can be a beautiful time of the year, but they can also be stressful especially when boundaries are being overstepped by friends and family members. Stress is commonplace during the holidays in general because we just have so much to do, add to that family issues and it can turn into the perfect storm.

However, you can preserve the joy of the season and manage holiday stress by implementing solid boundaries with family and friends. While it may seem challenging or intimidating to do so, it is possible and is worth the investment of energy and time.

Boundaries refer to the limits that are established with another person and serve as your personal guidelines for how you expect to be treated by others, and what you will or will not tolerate from others.

The following are ways you can go about establishing boundaries amongst friends and family members during the holidays.

1- Understand Your Needs

It is important to understand exactly what you need so that you are able to effectively communicate that to others. This requires reflection and analysis to help you identify behaviors that are causing you discomfort and distress. Once you understand what your preferences and limits are, you are in a better position to establish boundaries and advocate for what you need from those in your life.

2- Prioritize Yourself

Before you can adequately establish and advocate for what you need, you have to know that you are worthy of establishing boundaries and having those boundaries respected.

Often people allow mistreatment and abuse in part because of an underlying belief that they are worthy of that kind of treatment, and not deserving of something better. However, when you know your worth you are better able to stand your ground, communicate your boundaries, and hold firm to them in the face of opposition because you know you are worth that.

3- Use I-Statements

When communicating your boundaries, it is important not to make the communication of your boundaries seem like an attack on the other person. ‘You’ statements tend to make other people angry and defensive.

It should never be about what the other person does or does not do. Instead, the emphasis should remain on you, your feelings, and being accountable for yourself. This can allow other people to let their guard down and embrace what you’re saying so that they can respect your wishes.

4- Be Clear

Leave no room for confusion or ambiguity when communicating your boundaries. Boundaries cannot properly be respected if other people aren’t really sure what you need and want. Being clear and concise when you set and communicate boundaries will enhance understanding and elevate the ability of others to give you what you want.

5- Say No

It is okay to say no as a means of protecting and prioritizing yourself. The more comfortable you get saying no, the less you will take on responsibilities and tolerate behavior that does not serve you. Your ‘no’ does not have to come with explanations or support. Simply say ‘no’ and move on.

6- Establish Consequences

There will come a time when people will challenge your boundaries, whether intentionally or unintentionally. When this happens there needs to be some established consequences so people understand that a failure to respect your boundaries comes with a sort of punishment. This will deter and discourage them from future oversteps, and help you establish yourself as a serious individual who should be respected.

Final Thoughts

Do what is best for yourself this holiday season and set boundaries with family and friends. The sooner and more clearly you establish and communicate your boundaries, the better you can get your needs met and have an enjoyable season.